Regretfully Indifferent

Fight the Power. Stay Informed.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

 
A couple of days ago my parents were listening to a radio program about friendship on the African subcontinent. They were really shocked by the topic, so they started telling my friend Cathy about it, and she interrupted, "Wow!.. No kidding?! I am so sick of hearing about the African subcontinent all the time!" But then when my parents got to the part about the friendship, Cathy ran away all of a sudden. Then later, Cathy's father told me that the reason Cathy was so freaked out was because she used to write a lot about friendship. At times Cathy can be a little stupid like that, but I need to make this work...

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

 
This post is dedicated to Casey. He told me they talked about "Weird Laws" in History class, so I thought I'd look some up. Here are the some of the funnier ones I found. And now for some fun...
-Alaska
In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
-California
In Los Angeles, a man may legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than two inches wide, or she gives him permission to use a wider strap. In Pacific Grove, "molesting" butterflies can result in a $500 fine. In Ventura County, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
-D.C.
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
-Georgia
In Quitman, it is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
-Illinois
In Oblong, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
-Indiana
Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend. In Gary, it is illegal to attend the theater within four hours of eating garlic. The Stepford Wives is banned in Warsaw.
-Montana
Bozeman, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in thefront yard of a home after sundown-if they're nude.
-North Carolina
State law mandates that all couples staying in rooms for one night must be kept in room with double beds, kept a minimum of two feet apart, and making love on the floor between the beds is strictly forbidden. It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.
-Pennsylvania
In Harrisburg, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
-Washington
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Including the wedding night.) In Seattle, women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term. In Auburn, men who deflower virgins, regardless of age or marital status, may face up to five years in jail.

That's all for now. Have a good time with these. There will be more to come later.


Tuesday, October 05, 2004

 
So I'm sitting here, thinking about my life, and BOOM! it hits me. I'm getting married in 12 days! Of course, immediatly following that thought a million others flood my mind. On second thought I'd rather call them scenarios.

Scenario #1
I'm walking down the aisle, happy as ever. With my dad on my arm and the whole place staring at me. (That's cause i'm hot:D) As I get closer to the alter, I feel nothing but happiness inside. Ok wait, nevermind, that's actually vomit I felt inside, and now it's on some unsuspecting poor guest's lap. Wonderful.
Scenario #2
As I'm walking down the aisle with my dad, I spot my biological father sitting in the 6th row 5 in. He has the evilest look on his face I have ever seen. As we approach the 6th aisle, he leaps over teh 4 people between him and the aisle. Before I know what happens, him and my dad are fist fighting. I think it can't get any worse, but Oh! it does. Here comes my mom clad in a dress and heels running down the aisle towards the Fighting Fathers. Before long the whole place is beating up each other. All I can do is sigh.

That's only a smidgen of what I'm feeling and thinking about right now. My stomache is in knots and my hands are constantly shaking. Not to mention the ever present rash on my chest from nervousness. That will look lovely in the pictures. Now I'm going to go puke. Have a nice day!


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