Regretfully Indifferent

Fight the Power. Stay Informed.

Thursday, February 20, 2003

Ladies and Gentlemen... the Apocalypse is upon us. What makes you say that, Jordan? You're scaring the children, Jordan. Well I'll tell you why I say that... today while I was walking to class, I walked through 7 (seven) different types of water. That's right, 7 (seven). Let's make a list, shall we:


1. WET WATER -- Yes kids, regular normal water. The same kind you give to your dog or pee in... or both... only colder.

2. ICE WATER -- It's like water and ice together. Also known as, "a refreshing beverage".

3. SLUSH -- Exactly what it sounds like. This rare not-quite-ice-not-quite-water mixture (just think "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman" there is a gray area! BRITNEY SAYS SO!) is usually only found during the summer months in those really small buildings on the side of the road. I was quite sure that it's presence during the Winter was a sign from God. (sidenote: I was never really comfortable with stopping on the side of the road and paying a stranger to give me a semi-solid yellow liquid in a cone shaped cup that leaks.)

4. SNOW -- Ohh, beloved snow. Be still my beating heart...

5. ICE -- Large chunks of water that have previously relinquished their whiny-baby liquid form and transformed themselves (through extreme will-power and sub 32F temperatures) into a hardcore solid form. This is why what you normally call ice, I call "Gangster Water".

6. ICE SNOW -- Yeah I know, its a stretch. This amalgam is so friggin cool and dangerous that it needs its own FOX special. "When ICE SNOW Attacks Part 2"! It's so misleading. Is it ice, is it snow, is it Kirby with razor blades and a bad cold? The world will never know.

7. POO SNOW -- It's the stuff that the plow trucks scoop off the road. It looks like snow that you wipe with. AKA "Charmin Snow" or "Durty White Trash"

And the most amazing thing about this whole concept of water types, it was 45F outside. The sun was shining and I was sliding. I need to go find the sledding kids and see if they'll give me a lift around campus. Fight the Power. Stay Informed.

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