Regretfully Indifferent

Fight the Power. Stay Informed.

Monday, July 28, 2003

As I swam toward the crude stone stairway formed partly by time, partly by the feet of countless, faceless others...I wondered whether this was the coolest thing I had ever done, or the most absolutely retarded...Ignoring this thought, I continued to the top of the 30-ft. rock face onto a path toward an overhanging ledge. Standing for a moment, I gazed out at the sparkling reflection of the sun over the deep water below. It was comfortable here...Beautiful, quiet, and safe. I could have sat down and absorbed that moment forever. I set aside purpose, hope and ambition, and thanked God for that spot.
Taking a seat on a piece of the cliff protruding from the ground below me, I Subconsciously picked up a small rock and threw it off the edge. The faint and distant splash of the rock rang softly in my ears...destroying the near-hypnotic hold this beautiful scenery had on my mind.
Ignoring the peace and safety, I regained that indescribable feeling of excitement that drove me until now. Standing to my feet, I moved toward the edge. I was slightly dizzied by the sudden rush of emotion. As my first foot moved off the ledge, I experienced every conceivable feeling at once. This sensation brought me into a moment of serene angst that seemed to last forever. Finally I kicked out with my second foot and, for a moment, nothing existed. I was frozen in isolation from the world around me and I felt a sense of absolute silence.
I opened my eyes and watched myself slowly fall towards the water. There was a chill of adrenaline pushing itself up my spine. My every nerve tingled and my senses shut down. All I could hear was the wind blowing past my face. Then, as quickly as it began, I plunged through the surface of the water and again was suspended in time. I couldn't help but stay there for a while and just let myself drift and soak up as much as absolutely possible before my breath forced me to the top.
As I made my way to the water's surface the only intelligible thought running through my head was, "Wow." Then came the realization that I really was about to loose that last bit of air in my lungs. In a panic, I started frantically waving my arms and legs in any fashion that could lead me to the air above me. Finally, I could see the light shining through the near opaque water. I then held my hand above my head as I swam toward the water's surface. From a fist I raised my index and pinky fingers, and as I surfaced I screamed as loud as my voice would allow...

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